Integrity

Picture the following question and answer session…

Q: So what is integrity?

A: I think it is doing the right thing when you have the opportunity to get away with doing the wrong thing…

Hmm, loaded answer, one may say. I also have the same views about integrity because come to think of it, when all eyes are on you, it’s relatively easy to do the right thing but when the eyes are turned away, do you still have that same inclination to do that right thing?

Imagine you are down to your last N500, you have bills worth more than that amount to settle and you also have N50,000 in your account to be kept in trust for Mr. H, do you ‘borrow’ out of that N50,000 (which is not yours by the way) to settle those bills? Granted, your pay cheque would arrive before Mr. H needs the money and you will simply replace it without anyone being the wiser, but is that the right thing?

I mean, we may have differing views as to what amounts to crossing the line of integrity but I imagine we can all agree on the saying that “integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.”

Have a pleasant week ahead.

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

 

The Last Word

Ever heard the saying that you may win the argument but lose the person? Well, the meaning of this saying was brought home to me recently. No doubt I had some good points but I believe the issue was the manner in which I made the points…

Which also brings me to another point. That the importance of tact in conveying information cannot be downplayed in any guise because more often, how you say what you say is as important (if not more important) than what you say. You do not want to score cheap points and feel like a champion when all you have ended up doing is alienating the recipient of the information because your good intentions may well then add up to nothing more than an exercise in futility.

If that happens, then it will be learnt the hard way, that one did not get the last word after all. So let’s wise up!

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Oh, Wow!

Oh, Wow! So it’s literally been three months since I established any kind of presence here. Ma bad…

To be honest, I have no appropriate words to explain away the cause for this lethargy because when it comes right down to it, that is what it has been and that’s putting it lightly. Nonetheless, I am not one to cry over spilt milk so I’m just gonna dust the laziness outta me and hope for a more productive blogging lifestyle where I get to chat about experiences and lessons learnt in the journey through life…

Like this month, where I have learnt the importance of infusing passion in one’s efforts and the importance of sacrifice in matters of the heart. Putting your money where your mouth is as it were. I also learnt the place of inspiration because that, my friends, has made me lazily pick myself up to continue this. After all, better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof huh?

So please join me on this ride and hopefully we will make some nice discoveries.

Warm regards,

Adefolake

*image credit: http://www.google.com

Yippee!!!

2009 marked a turning point in my life. It was a year of a number of firsts and having to rely 100% on the God who owns my life when all else failed. My most vulnerable year yet…

In spite of the several odds, I stand here today to mark another year in the land of the living. It only could have been God using the instrument of a die-hard loving family.

And because, I stand as a living testimony, permit me to croon in my soprano voice that…”Afuye gege tio se gbe jigbin ni jigbin ni bi ate ileke, Kabiesio mo seba Re, Oba to ju gbogbo oba lo.” (Immeasurable…Majesty to the King of kings)

Happy birthday to me😬💃🏽🙏🏾🎂

P.S. I know I haven’t been as regular here as I had intended, please forgive me😘

The Milk of Human Kindness

I just knew  I had to snap out of that inertia to pen this down…

Saturday, 11th June:

I had a colleague’s wedding to attend and I must confess when I got out of bed that morning, I was undecided as to whether to go back for round two of sleep (after all it was a weekend) or dress up and go out. I was also considering that I got in real late the day before. No, I wasn’t partying, I was working…

I eventually prepared for the wedding and started the uneventful journey until the car decided to have a mind of its own half way into the journey and start misbehaving…

So this kind Nigerian stopped to assist and even went out of his way to get his mechanic. Meanwhile, some patrolling nice members of the police force had also come to assist.

While I was waiting for my benefactor, some not so nice LASTMA officials passed by with a towing vehicle and I’m sure were saying in their minds ‘see Saturday meat.’ If only they knew…

Anyway as the car was being towed, my nice police friends saw them and stopped them and a hot argument ensued…

Meanwhile, the kind Nigerian had again gone out of his way to trace the car with his mechanic in tow; and find out what was happening.

So while the police-LASTMA drama was going on, I was just sitting back and watching a play out of the biblical words in Ex 14:14 and Prov 16:7…you can check them out.

One of the LASTMA bosses had to come into the picture and we all reached a nice compromise. I never for once even mentioned I’m into ‘law thingz’ myself.

This kind benefactor again waited to make sure his mechanic diagnosed the problem, beat down the exploitative tendency of the mechanic, drove the mechanic to buy the parts and me to the ATM to get some cash; and even provided fuel (in these hard times!) to wash the car parts. He also waited till the car was in a shape to move…

Mind you, there were no ulterior motives, no ‘asking out’ or asking for my number. He happily made references to his wife and kids. He is also a Muslim.

The tripping part that got me writing this piece, is the kindness I experienced, particularly from Ololade Saheed, my benefactor. I wonder if I could have been as nice to my fellow man.

The wedding was just about to end when I finally arrived but I met the couple so I’m glad that I was able to make it down.

I will never forget the kindness shown to me by my fellow men…and unlikely ones at that☺️

Adefolake

*photo credit: http://www.google.com

Rape

Just yesterday, we treated ‘rape’ as a Sunday School topic in church and one of the issues that came up was whether there can ever be such a thing as marital rape, but that’s a topic for another day.

One of the things that came up during the treatment of the topic especially among the men folk I dare say, was that rape is usually caused by indecent dressing. I beg to differ if you please!

Get me right, I’m not in on ladies prancing around half-clad and all but something just boils within me when there is an attempt to justify rape on the basis that she caused it by her dressing.

Because think of it, when a man’s sister or mother or daughter walks around the house in wrapper (amuseya as some say) or in a sphagetti top and bum shorts, does that man however rape-prone he may be, say that because of such “indecent dressing,” he’ll pounce on her like a predator? Your guess is as good as mine unless that man is a modern day Amnon.

So, I don’t care how you try to rationalise it, there is never a justification (and definitely not indecent dressing) for rape. After all, there are Mary Amaka dressers who are victims of rapists.

You may be wondering why I appear to be so emotional on this topic. Well, it is an emotional topic, simple! You may also wonder why I have refused to broach the topic of whether it is possible for men to fall rape victims of women. Well, again, that’s a topic for another day, let me catch my breath and cool down first!

– Adefolake

*photo credit: http://www.google.com

Restraint

I wish I had penned down my thoughts on this subject as soon as it came to mind because I now seem to have forgotten all the high-sounding words that were just begging to be spilled out at the time, but nonetheless….

So I imagine that you may have come across a chic for instance, who seems like the typical good girl or star student/employee and may be wondering in your mind, “If only I had been created with the goody-two-shoes genes.”

If only thou knowest, that every one, not just you, has to battle that inner demon. For all you know, that good girl/star student/employee also faced the temptations you believe she is immune from but you probably did not witness it because she was able to rein in all the what-nots as a result of self-discipline or restraint if you like.

Because sometimes, when you realise that many look up to you, you may be forced to stifle your raging desires and do all you can to be a worthy role model. And no, I’m not referring to the “do as I say but don’t do as I do” kind of model.

I bid thee to chew on these thoughts even as I wish you a spectacular month and a restful workers’ day.

Adefolake

*photo credit: http://www.google.com